Phineas Revenge: The rude, crude, but still lewd parody
by JustSagan
Summary: When Phineas comes home one day after having some fun with Isabella, he discovers something quite disturbing and sexy. However, this pisses him off, and he now wants REVENGE! I wrote this story with MinorSmile10. He is awesome! Also this story is a parody of the fan comic "Phineas' Revenge".
1. The first chapter

It was one fine day in Danville. Ferb and his dad were planning a trip to England, and were getting ready to leave that day. Phineas on the other hand was walking home after busting a major nut in Isabella.

" _Oh man, that nut was amazing! It's a good thing she can't get pregnant yet, or else she'd definitely be knocked up by now!"_ Phineas stated out loud, not caring who heard him.

An old man sat on his front porch, in hearing distance of Phineas.

" _Comments like that used to horrify me, but now… now I think I'm dead on the inside."_ The old man said, with a PTSD look on his face.

Phineas finally arrived home, seeing something rather strange upon walking to the driveway.

" _Hey, dad's car is gone! I wonder if they left already."_ Phineas said to himself, still out loud.

Phineas walked inside expecting to get some rest, but was met with a shocking sight.

" _Mom?! Candace!? Ferb?! What the heck are they doing?!"_ Phineas thought to himself.

He backed away slowly as he watched the three have passionate, rough sex. They didn't notice him, as they were too busy with the sex.

Phineas ran upstairs to get away from the three, but suddenly got an idea.

" _Wait a second! If I can get this on video, I can prove to dad that they had sex!"_

But out of the blue, Phineas' idea turned evil.

" _Wait a second… if I get them on video, I can blackmail them into doing whatever I want!"_

With his evil plan in motion, Phineas ran back downstairs, hiding behind the couch as his brother, sister and mother did lewd things in the middle of the living room. Phineas began to feel turned on by the situation he was in, and pulled his cock out to masturbate while recording footage.

" _Oh man, my sister and mom look so hot right now! But not Ferb, that would be gay."_ Phineas said to himself.

After a few minutes of furiously masturbate, Phineas came all over the back of the couch.

" _Oh wow! I didn't think I would bust two nuts in one day! But then again, Isabella sure wanted me to!_ "

Realizing that he finally had enough footage, Phineas ran back up to his room.

" _Oh man, this is going to be great! I can't wait to make my mom and sister into my love slaves for life!"_ Phineas thought to himself, his brain and cock equally about to explode with excitement.

Just as Phineas was about to start watching the video, he heard the front door down stairs open.

" _Im home everyone! Come Along Ferb, I got everything we need for our trip!_ "

Phineas looked down stairs, and saw that Ferb, Candace and his mom were no longer having sex. Ferb quickly ran outside to his dad's car.

"Have fun you two!" Their mom said, while waving goodbye to them.

As soon as their dad closed the door, Candace and their mom sighed in relief.

" _Wow, that was a close one._ " Candace commented.

" _Ya, he almost caught us._ "

Phineas stifled maniacal laughter, as he thought to himself what he would do to them. He went back to his work desk to furiously masturbate to the footage some more, but upon starting the tape, he realized that it was too shaky, and useless.

" _Oh no! The recording got messed up! Oh well, I'll just make my own!"_

As Phineas started work on the fake recording, he heard a small knocking on his window. He looked outside to see a limping Isabella, who was now curious as to what he was doing.

" _Oh, hi Isabella!"_ Phineas greeted.

" _Hi, Phineas! I finally got my legs to move again, so I was wondering if you were up for another passionate rough fucking!"_ Isabella replied.

" _Nah, I'm busy right now!"_ Phineas answered.

" _You are? Watcha dooooin'?"_ Isabella asked.

" _Oh, I got horny while recording a video of my mom, step-brother and sister having sex, and jacked off to it, so the video came out all shaky! So I decided to make a fake video of them in order to exploit them for lewd stuff!"_ Phineas answered again.

" _Ohhhh, okay! Hey, can I help?"_ Isabella asked.

" _Sure! I even made a costume for you to use in the fake video! It looks just like Candace too!"_ Phineas answered.

" _Awesome! Wait, who's gonna be your mom?"_ Isabella asked again

" _Oh, I have a blow-up doll for that! I made sure to get the one with EXTRA-fake boobs too!"_ Phineas replied enthusiastically.

The two then got to work, eager to exploit Phineas's mom and sister for sex. After a long, joyous, song-filled effort, the two finally finished the equipment for their devious plan.

" _Well, it's finally done! We have finished the Amateur Porn Shooting Set 9000™!"_

" _High-five!"_ Phineas and Isabella said at once as they high-fived each other. The two then fucked again to record the video. After Phineas busted another nut inside Isabella, she borrowed a spare pair of crutches and limped home.

" _Man, what a day! I nutted inside Isabella twice, and masturbated once too! That makes three nuts! I should probably get some sleep now, I'm gonna need all the energy I can get for when I blackmail mom and Candace! Good night Perry!"_ Phineas stated.

Perry purred nervously. He didn't like where this was going.


	2. TOUCH THE PENIS

It was a nice, sunny Tuesday morning. Phineas has just woken up, and was prepared for a 'long', 'hard' day.

" _Man oh man Perry! I can't wait to blackmail my mom and sister!"_ Phineas stated as he woke Perry up.

Perry woke up, even more nervous this time.

" _Well, wish me luck Perry! I'm going to go exploit my family into doing my bidding now!"_

Phineas happily started to skip out of his room, not caring that his dick was hanging out of his pajama pants. As he made his way into Candace's room, he saw Candace on her phone. Probably begging Stacy for those hot bisexual nudes.

" _Hey, Candace! I have something to show you!"_ Phineas said with a smirk.

" _Not now Phineas! I'm trying to get Stacy to send me her nudes!"_ Candace yelled, a little TOO loudly.

Perry heard this conversation and became even more nervous.

" _But Candace! It's really REALLY important!"_ Phineas said again.

Candace turned the phone around to Phineas, revealing that she was FaceTiming with Stacy.

" _Does it look like I have time to worry about your stuff right now, Phineas?"_ Candace asked, very annoyed by this point.

" _Uh…Candace, why is your brother's penis hanging out?"_ Stacy asked.

Candace looked slightly downward in horror.

" _MO-OOM! PHINEAS IS WEARING HIS PAJAMAS WITH HIS COCK HANGING OUT!"_ Candace screamed.

" _Now Phineas, what did I tell you about exposing yourself to your sister."_ Linda said from downstairs, not really giving a fuck.

" _Oh, right! Sorry! That's not what I wanted to show you though, you've seen that PLENTY of times! Check this out!"_ Phineas replied as he pulled out his phone.

Phineas then played the fake video of Candace, Ferb and Linda doing the sex in the living room, Candace watching with widened eyes. Stacy watched the video and started to get turned on, licking her lips a bit.

" _Thats right Candace! I saw what you three were doing!_ "

As Candace watched the video, she heard moaning and fast, soft slapping noises coming from Stacy.

" _Stacy! Now is NOT the time!_ " Candace yelled.

" _Oh yes, yell at me some more!_ " Stacy begged as lust filled her eyes.

Candace finally hung up the phone with an audible groan, not wanting to deal with Stacy's horniness.

" _Aww, you should've let her watch! You've always been a real bitch to her Candace!"_ Phineas stated.

" _MOOOOO-OOOOOOOM! PHINEAS CALLED ME A BITCH!"_ Candace screamed.

" _If the shoe fits, wear it dear!"_ Linda replied.

Candace groaned angrily.

" _Get neglected, BITCH!"_ Phineas exclaimed.

" _Anyway, here's the deal; you do whatever I want whenever I want, and I won't release that tape to dad and Jeremy! Capiche?"_ Phineas offered.

Candace got angry for a bit, but finally let out a sigh of impatience.

" _FINE! Just don't release that tape, okay?"_ Candace pleaded.

" _Awesome! I'll go get mom in on this!"_ Phineas replied.

Candace wanted to say something, but was to busy trying to figure out where her life went wrong.

Phineas ran downstairs to the kitchen, and got his mother's attention. When she turned around, she noticed his loose penis.

" _Phineas! It's one thing to expose yourself to Candace, but it's another thing to expose yourself to me!"_ Linda scolded.

" _My cock should be the last thing you're worried about! Have a look at this!_ " Phineas replied, before showing her the video.

As Linda watched the video, her jaw dropped with horror.

" _Phineas! You weren't supposed to see that!_ "

" _Well no shit mom! Why do think think I recorded it!?_ " Phineas yelled.

" _Phineas L. Flynn, I am your mother! And as your mother, I demand that you give me that video THIS—"_

" _Shut your hole, whore!"_ Phineas yelled as he slapped Linda across the face.

Linda rubbed her face in pain, and kept her mouth shut.

" _Alright, now listen here! You're gonna come upstairs with me to Candace's room, and I'm gonna explain how things are gonna go!"_ Phineas stated.

Linda stayed quiet and cried softly as Phineas yanked her upstairs by the hand.

" _Come on, slut! You're my personal bitch now!"_ Phineas yelled, with sexual rage.

When the two made it up to Candace's room, Phineas noticed that Candace looked like she was going to piss herself out of fear.

" _That's right bitch! Fear me!_ " Phineas yelled.

A sleeping Perry woke up from this and became very, very nervous. Perry decided to try and get back to sleep.

Phineas sat down on Candace's bed and grabbed his cock, stroking it a bit.

" _Touch the penis!"_ Phineas yelled.

" _W…what?"_ Candace asked nervously.

" _TOUCH THE PENIS!"_ Phineas screamed.

" _No way! I'm not touching that thing!"_ Candace yelled.

" _Yes! That's disgusting!"_ Linda added.

" _You do it instead, mom!"_ Candace yelled again.

" _WHAT?!"_ Linda screamed.

" _You heard her bitch!_ _ **TOUCH THE PENIS!**_ " Phineas screamed, at the top of his lungs.

Linda was a bit hesitant. She reached to grab her son's veiny, hard, seven-inch cock, but couldn't stop thinking about how disgusting it would be.

" _ **BITCH! I SAID TOUCH THE PENIS! ARE YOU DEAF BITCH?!**_ " Phineas yelled, somehow even louder.

Linda started reaching again for the penis.

" _ **TOUCH THE PENIIIIIIIIIIS! DO IT!**_ " Phineas screamed, loud enough to shake the house.

The old man was still on his porch. He remained calm, and completely unaffected at the fact that Phineas was screaming to his mom 'touch the penis".

" _It just keeps getting worse and worse… It's like the morning birds chirping to me at this point."_ The old man said to himself _._

" _ **TOUCH…THE…PENIS!**_ " Phineas screamed, once again.

" _Well?! Go on! Touch his penis already!"_ Candace yelled.

" _YOU'RE NOT HELPING!"_ Linda screamed.

" _Yeah! You're not helping her_ _ **TOUCH THE PENIS!**_ " Phineas screamed.

Linda couldn't take the yelling anymore, and finally put her hands on Phineas' penis, stroking it gently.

" _Well, what are you waiting for, Candace?_ _ **TOUCH THE PENIS!**_ "

" _Alright alright, I'll touch your stupid…gigantic—what the hell? do you use Viagra or some crap?! There's no way a 12 year old's penis should be that big!"_ Candace yelled.

" _You're supposed to suspend your disbelief for these stories, Candace! Stop ruining the plot and_ _ **TOUCH THE PENIS ALREADY!**_ " Phineas screamed.

" _Okay okay! See, I'm touching the penis!"_ Candace replied as Linda sobbed loudly.

" _Y-You're not as nice as Ferb!"_ Linda said with tears flowing down her cheeks.

Phineas then slapped Linda harshly.

" _Of fucking course not! Did it take you this damn long to figure it out?! Now_ _ **KEEP TOUCHING THE PENIS!**_ "

Linda did as her son said, and continued to rub his hard, veiny penis. While the two were touching the penis, Candace pulled out her phone with her free hand, and quietly video called Stacy.

" _Oh my god, Phineas is making us touch his penis…_ " Candace whispered to Stacy.

" _What!? Turn the phone around!_ " Stacy yelled.

Phineas of course heard her.

" _Hey, bitch! Why are you using one of your hands to use the phone to call your retarded friend?! Use that fucking hand to_ _ **TOUCH THE PENIS!**_ "

Stacy would have been mad, but she was more focused on Phineas' penis.

" _Holy shit! How does a 12 year old have a cock that size!?_ "

" _It's called science, mothafucka! Maybe if you would've paid attention in something besides math, yo' stupid ass would learn a fuckin' thing or two!"_ Phineas yelled.

" _But holy fuck, even Jeremy's cock wasn't THAT big!"_ Stacy yelled.

" _WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAAAAAY?! YOU FUCKING ASIAN MATH-LOVING CUNT?!"_

" _Oops. Uh…gotta go, I uh… just remembered my period starts today! *Click*."_ Stacy replied, quickly hanging up the phone.

" _THAT BITCH! I'll kill that sexy—I mean stupid bitch after this!"_ Candace yelled.

" _You know… I noticed you stopped_ _ **TOUCHING THE PENIS!"**_ Phineas screamed at the top of his lungs, shaking the whole house this time.

" _P-Please stop yelling! We will keep touching the penis!_ " Linda cried.

Candace cried softly at the fact that her boyfriend was a cheater, and at the fact that she just realized that Stacy was Asian.

" _Candace, you can cry about your limp-dicked boyfriend later! Right now you should be focusing on_ _ **TOUCHING THE PENIS!"**_ Phineas yelled once again, causing the window to crack.

Phineas' mom and sister continued to gently stroke his cock, making him moan softly. It had been about five minutes, and Phineas was at his limit.

" _Oh shit, you're so good at this! I think—I think I'm gonna cum!"_ Phineas yelled, with a loud moan.

Linda and Candace were about to close their eyes in anticipation of the load, but Phineas got very upset about this.

" _Open your eyes! I want you to see this!"_ Phineas yelled.

As soon as the two opened their eyes, they were greeted with a huge load of fresh cum splattered across their mouths and faces. The two yelled in surprise, not expecting it to happen this quickly.

" _AhOh god, my mouth was open! WHY ME?!"_ Candace yelled.

Linda tried to hold back tears but eventually started sobbing loudly.

" _God, you two are pathetic! I'd be pissed that you're crying so fucking loudly, but I'll let it slide this time since you did such a good job!"_ Phineas stated.

" _Alright then bitches, clean yourselves up and get the fuck out of my room!"_ Phineas yelled.

" _W—What? But this is my room…"_ Candace replied, somberly.

" _I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! GET OUT!"_ Phineas yelled.

The two ran out as fast as they could to clean themselves up. Phineas went back to his room, ready to go to sleep.


	3. A night of fun!

Phineas woke up in the middle of the night with a raging erection, badly having to use the restroom.

" _Oh shit, I have to pee!"_ Phineas screamed, waking Perry up from a wet dream.

Phineas ripped his covers off and bolted to the bathroom, screaming curse words as he ran.

After Phineas used the bathroom, he noticed that he still had an erection, and it didn't seem like it was going away anytime soon.

" _Fuck, my dick is still hard! Wait a minute... That gives me an idea! I'm gonna go fucking rape my sister! Surely that'll help cure my raging boner!"_ Phineas yelled.

Perry started shaking nervously, not liking this idea at all. Finally he decided enough was enough, and ran out of the bedroom door.

Phineas looked around for Perry, but he was nowhere to be seen.

" _Hey, where's Perry?_ "

Perry ran as fast as he could to his base located under his tree. As he slid down there, Major Francis Monogram was quite surprised to see him.

" _Perry? What are you doing here? Doofenshmirtz isn't trying to take over the Tri State Area._ "

Perry pulled out a voice recorder, and pressed the play button.

" _I'm gonna go fucking rape my sister! Surely that'll help cure my raging boner!"_

Monogram was taken back by that.

" _Oh… Uh… Maybe you should go pay Dr. Doofenshmirtz a visit…"_

Perry took his advice, and started to make his way towards Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. As he got to the door, he ring the doorbell.

" _What is it? I'm trying to sleep here, can you like, just seriously wait for the morning?"_ Doofenshmirtz yelled, somewhat annoyed.

He walked down the stairs with a yawn as Perry waited. While walking, he stepped on a lego.

Perry then heard agonized screaming, and loud crashing noises as the doctor fell down the stairs.

Perry looked at his watch, wondering how long it would take Doofenshmirtz to get to the door. Eventually, he finally made it. His face went from angry to confused as soon as he saw it was Perry.

" _Perry the Platypus? What are you doing here at a time like this?"_

Perry, once again, pulled out the voice recorder, and pressed play.

" _I'm gonna go fucking rape my sister! Surely that'll help cure my raging boner!"_

Doofenshmirtz listened on, shocked by what he was hearing.

" _...I really dont know what to say about that Perry. Here, come in and make yourself comfortable."_

Perry gladly took up his offer, and walked right in.

 _ **Meanwhile, in the vivid sex life of Phineas Flynn!**_

Phineas snuck into Candace's room and got next to her bed. He pulled down his pants, revealing his massive member.

" _Hey, bitch! Wake up, slut!"_ Phineas yelled, while smacking his dick on her face.

Candace didn't wake up from this, and continued snoring. Of course, this pissed Phineas off.

" _HEY! I said wake the fuck up, you stupid bitch! WAKE! UP!"_ Phineas screamed.

Phineas then slapped Candace several times with his cock, trying to wake her up. He then slapped her with his pimp hand, leaving marks across her face yet still not waking her up.

" _Hmm. I want to have her awake for this. Now how would I do that…?"_ Phineas asked himself.

" _HEY, CANDACE! MOM IS CHECKING THE HENTAI FOLDER ON YOUR PHONE AND WANTS TO KNOW WHY THEY ALL LOOK UNDERAGE!"_ Phineas screamed.

Candace simply rolled over and snored, not bothered at all.

" _Man, this is serious! She must be really tired from touching the penis! It must've been pretty hard to lift, after all! I'll have to try harder to wake her up!"_ Phineas stated.

" _That gives me an idea!"_ Phineas yelled.

He pulled out a sniper rifle and cocked it, aiming out the window.

He aimed at Jeremy, who was humming to himself as he walked down the street. Phineas fires several shots out the window, one of them hitting Jeremy.

" _Ow, you shot me in the ass!"_ Jeremy yelled.

" _Sorry, I was aiming for your leg! I'm trying to wake Candace up, she's in a really deep sleep!"_ Phineas yelled back.

" _It's okay, at least you didn't hit my dick! Just aim a little lower next time, alright?"_ Jeremy asked.

" _Oh, okay!" *BANG*_ Phineas said, shooting Jeremy in the leg.

" _OW! No no, man! That won't wake her up! You have to yell 'Someone roofied Stacy!' That gets her up every time!"_

" _Oh! Thanks, Jeremy!"_ Phineas said with a smile.

" _Don't mention it! I'm gonna head off to the hospital now, I'm losing blood fast!"_ Jeremy yelled as he limped off.

Phineas rushed over and started shaking Candace awake.

" _SOMEONE ROOFIED STACY! SOMEONE ROOFIED STACY!"_ Phineas screamed with fake excitement.

" _WHAT?! OH SHIT, NOW'S MY CHANCE!"_ Candace yelled.

" _Wait, What the—where's the party? And Stacy? And the roofies?"_ Candace asked.

" _I lied about the party and Stacy! But I do have emergency roofies stashed in one of my video game cases in case mom gets out of line!"_ Phineas replied.

" _I…you know what? Forget I asked. What do you want?"_ Candace asked.

Phineas jumped on her bed, and jabbed her in her left eye with his dick.

" _OWW! What was that for!?_ "

" _Let's get one thing straight! From this point forward, when ever I want sex, you and mom will give it to me!_ "

Candace was about to get furious about this, but Phineas shut her bitch ass mouth up.

" _Say another fucking word, and i'll jab your other eye with my dick!_ "

Candace didn't believe him for some reason.

" _You better cut this o—OWW!_ "

" _WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY!? JUST FOR THAT, I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU IN THE ASS INSTEAD!_ "

Candace still didn't believe him, but out of the blue he started pulling her underwear down.

" _HEY! WHAT ARE Y—"_

" _WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?! I'M GONNA RAPE YOUR ASSHOLE!"_ Phineas screamed.

Linda lied awake restlessly in the other room, hearing everything.

" _STOP! I CAN'T DO THIS!"_ Candace yelled.

" _You want me to release that video, bitch?! If not, quit squirming around and bend the fuck over already!" Phineas yelled again._

" _Fine, I'll do it! Just…please be gentle, Phineas…"_ Candace said nervously, bending over while showing off her butt and polka-dotted panties to her brother.

" _That's more like it! BITE THE PILLOW, I'M GOING IN DRY!"_ Phineas screamed, shoving his cock up his sister's butt.

" _AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_ Candace screamed, due to the intensity of the anal fucking she was receiving.

Linda couldn't take Candaces suffering anymore, and ate one of Phineas's roofies that she had stolen from him.

" _Why are you screaming!? WE JUST STARTED!_ "

Phineas got so mad that he punched Candace directly in the face. Candace continued to cry, and this pissed Phineas off even more.

" _If you wont shut the fuck up… THEN I WILL HAVE TO IMPREGNATE YOU AS PUNISHMENT!_ " Phineas screamed.

" _What?! No! Please don't! Jeremy will get suspicious if I tell him it's his!"_ Candace replied.

" _Too bad, bitch! Spread those sexy legs of yours and make way for the PAIN TRAIN!"_ Phineas yelled as he ripped his sister's underwear off and forced her legs open.

Linda was sleeping like a baby, dreaming about magical creatures and fairy worlds. She had been used to spacing out on medication by this point of course.

" _ALRIGHT! HERE'S THE PAIN TRAIN! CHOOGA CHOOGA CHOOGA CHOOGA CHOOGA CHOOGA WHOO WHOOOOO!"_

Phineas then harshly shoved his massive, throbbing member into Candace's sorta-but-not-really-virgin pussy.

" _AHHHHHHHHH! THIS FEELS WORSE THAN THE TIME STACY SHOVED HER WHOLE ARM IN MY PUSSY!_ "

" _OH YEAH! TAKE IT, BITCH!"_ Phineas screamed as he thrusted as hard and fast as he could.

Candace kept on screaming as Phineas tore her insides asunder, the bed shaking to the point of falling apart.

" _PHINEAS! IT'S TOO BIG, PLEASE STOP!"_ Candace screamed.

Phineas ignored her pleas, screaming autistically as he fucked his sister.

" _I AM PUNCHING YOUR PUSSY! WITH MY GIGANTIC COOOOOOCK!"_ Phineas screamed at the top of his lungs.

" _NOOOOOOOO—OOOOOOO!"_ Candace yelled.

Phineas moaned loudly as Candace screamed in vaginally inflicted pain, thrusting even harder.

" _GET READY CANDACE! THIS COCK HAS SOME PASSENGERS!"_ Phineas screamed.

" _PULL OUT, PHINEAS! THAT'S THE ONLY PILL I DIDN'T THINK TO TAKE!"_ Candace yelled once again.

" _HERE IT COMES, YOU WHORE! AND MOM IS NEXT! YAAHHHHHHHH!"_

Phineas then shot his passengers into Candace. She fell in her bed, defeated.

" _Thanks for the fuck sis! Now it's time to get mom!_ "

Phineas walked into his mom's room, and was quite surprised but happy to see that she already roofied herself.

" _Awesome, now she can't struggle! This is gonna be so much fun!"_ Phineas cracked his knuckles, ready to get to work.

The next morning, Linda woke up with an extremely sore vagina, and with most of her clothes missing.

" _What…happened last night? I feel like I got raped by a horse…"_ Linda said to herself.

And so ended a night of sexual misadventure and incestual abuse.


	4. bobs and vagenes

Phineas woke up with a yawn in Linda's bed, his cock poking out through the sheets.

" _Morning mom! Man oh man, last night was awesome! Your pussy was so tight!"_ Phineas greeted.

" _M-My what?!"_ Linda asked concernedly.

" _Oh yeah, I forgot you took roofies. Oh well, it's breakfast time!"_ Phineas stated.

Linda decided she didn't want to deal with anything that was going on anymore, so she reached into her bag to get more roofies. Much to her dismay, the bag was empty.

" _Oh right, were you looking for the leftover roofies I had? Too bad, bitch! Candace gobbled those fuckers down like Isabella giving me head! And speaking of head, get down there and suck me off!"_ Phineas stated smugly.

Linda was visibly disgusted by this. She couldn't stomach the thought of sucking a cock that wasn't her husbands or Ferbs.

" _I. Said. SUCK THE PENIS!"_ Phineas screamed, right in Linda's ear.

Not wanting any more ear damage, Linda put her mouth on Phineas's penis. Tears rolled down her eyes as she closed them, Phineas moving her head back and forth slowly.

Suddenly Candace walked into the room, looking very angry.

" _MOM! We have to FUCKING talk about that retard Phineas's behavior lately! He has-"_

She became shocked as she noticed Linda giving Phineas a wet blowjob, looking at Candace with a depressed face.

" _I… I'd be angry normally but this is just sad…"_ Candace said as she walked back out to give her slutty mother some much needed privacy.

" _Hey, Candace! You might want to visit Jeremy in the hospital, I shot him with a deer rifle last night because your dumb ass wouldn't wake up!"_ Phineas yelled.

" _Yeah, he did! No worries though, this happens to me like every week for some reason! I'm out of the hospital now anyway, I'll be fine!"_ Jeremy yelled from outside, wearing a cast on his leg.

" _Boy, his doctor must have some war stories. But anyway though, Phineas, this is completely insane! You're exploiting your mother and sister for sex!"_ Candace yelled.

Phineas slowly looked at Candace.

" _Do you realise who your talking to!? I'M MOTHER FUCKING PHINEAS FLETCHER! NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP, GET OVER HERE, AND TOUCH THE PENIS!_ "

At this point, Candace knew the wrath that Phineas could bring. So she quietly walked up to him, and started to touch the penis. While this was happening, Linda continued to suck the penis.

" _Yes! YES! ALL THESE BITCHES BE WORSHIPIN' DA KANG!"_ Phineas screamed.

Phineas finally came inside Linda's mouth with a moan. However, just as Phineas was about to relax, he heard a very familiar foreign voice.

" _What are you doing!?_ "

Phineas quickly looked behind him, and saw Baljeet and Buford.

" _The fuck do you think I'm doing? I'm going up to these bitches' ribs with my PENIS!"_ Phineas replied.

Baljeet was used to Phineas's penis talk, but he was quite surprised to see him fucking his mom and sister. But at the same time, he seemed happy.

" _Ah yes, the ancient art of incestuous behavior! We used this olden practice quite often in my home country of India! After all, women do not have rights there, as it should be!"_ Baljeet stated.

" _Listen to me Phineas! If you want me to keep this between us, you better let me use my cock on their bobs and vagenes!_ "

Buford was visibly distraught hearing this.

" _*GASP* Bobs and vagenes!? I thought we were a gay couple!"_

" _Gay couple!? No! That is gay!"_

Buford started to cry, and ran out of the house. With the dirty homo taken care of, Baljeet turned his attention back to Phineas.

" _So, what is it going to be, my incestuous, American friend?_ "

This was a no boner, I mean, brainer for Phineas.

" _Sure you can fuck my-_ "

" _No fucking! Just bobs and vagenes!"_

Phineas rolled his eyes.

" _Yes, you can… Get bobs and vagenes from them._ "

Baljeet jumped up and down in happiness. As he was doing this, Phineas started to walk out of the room, not seeming to care that his dick was hanging out.

" _Hey! Where are you going?_ " Baljeet asked.

" _Isabella always wanted to have a three-way orgy with me. So she said if I came over today, she would roofie her mom!_ "

" _Oh yes, mr friend! We do this to each other in my home country of India as well! I give you my blessing, you rapey rascal!"_ Baljeet said with a wink.

Phineas gave Baljeet a thumbs up and walked out of the room, closing the door as he left.

" _Hey, couldn't we just run away now?"_ Candace asked.

Phineas then walked back into the room.

" _Oh right, I almost forgot!"_ He yelled, pulling a remote out of his pocket, and pushing a button.

At that moment, a bunch of chains suddenly came out of nowhere, and grabbed Candace and Linda. Before they could scream, two ball gags shut them up.

" _There we go! Now they have no hope of escaping! But you will have to take their clothes off… I haven't figured out how to make the chains do that yet."_

" _What!? You figured out how to make a time machine, but you can't figure out how to make clothing ripping chains!?"_ Baljeet asked.

" _Give me a break man! I'm usually working on this stuff with Ferb!_ "

" _Ah yes, your incestous brother who you are very obviously gay for."_ Baljeet replied.

Phineas gave Baljeet a serious stare.

" _Ah ha, I got you there! Now go, and have your rapey rape fun!"_ Baljeet continued.

Phineas smiled, and closed the door.

" _Ah yes, that sweet, delicious smell of abused girls. It almost makes me miss my home country."_ Baljeet said a bit somberly.

Linda and Candace screamed angrily, but it was muffled by a gags in their mouths.

" _Now then, time for Baljeet to work his magic, it is now rape time!"_ Baljeet yelled, ripping Linda's shirt off.

Linda let out another muffled scream, as Baljeet stuffed his face in her chest and squeezed her bobs against his face.

After a few minutes, Baljeet ripped Linda's pants off and slowly pulled her panties down.

" _And now, it is time for the second phase of bobby-vageny fun time!"_ Baljeet yelled.

Baljeet spread Linda's legs wide open and shoved his huge brown cock in her pussy. Linda let out yet another muffled yell as Baljeet began to thrust, asserting his dominance as a well-endowed Indian boy.

Baljeet climaxed within two seconds, setting a new personal and world record.

" _Yes, I did it! I suppose I have a lot of time to kill now…"_ Baljeet stated, a bit bored now.

Baljeet scratched his ass a bit, then looked at Candace.

" _Ah yes, the sister-wife of my incestuous comrade. How much you look like a woman who really has a penis, even more so than Jeremy-friend! And I will not fall for that again!"_ Baljeet said to Candace.

Candace's face turned red as she yelled furiously again, rattling the chains.

" _I see the tranny-friend has been thoroughly offended! Methinks 'she' doth protest too much! Now excuse me while I smack your mother's bobs! But dont worry, I will punish you with bob smacks as well!"_ Baljeet yelled, going to do exactly that.

Baljeet slapped and played with both Linda and Candace's bobs for about an hour and a half while Phineas was gone. Finally Phineas got home, all sweaty from a harsh yet pleasurable fucking session.

" _Oh, hey Baljeet! You sure like bobs, don't you!"_ Phineas stated.

" _Ah, I see friend Phineas has returned! I must say, your mother's breasts are quite enjoyable!"_ Baljeet replied.

Linda cried hard as her boobs were slapped raw, looking like two big red light bulbs.

" _Nice, Baljeet! You really are used to manhandling bitches!"_ Phineas yelled.

Candace cried in pain as her pathetically flat chest was covered in bright red handprints.

" _Sadly, I must now get going to my humble abode,, good incestuous friend! As my mother is in need of a long, painful breast slapping session as well!"_ Baljeet stated, walking out.

" _Oh, Baljeet? Before you get home, you might want to check on Buford in the hospital. Apparently he tried to hang himself but failed miserably. Anyway, have fun molesting your mom!"_ Phineas said as he waved goodbye.

As Baljeet walked out, Phineas gave Linda and Candace evil looks.

" _Alright bitches! Don't think I'm about to let you two out! Isabella wants to have some fun with you tomorrow, and I have to make sure you two don't try anything funny! So… Good night! Fucking cunts…"_

Phineas turned the lights off, closed the blinds, and left to go do other stuff. The two cried in the darkness, realizing that their torment was not going to end.


	5. Sex and Suffering

Phineas and Isabella finally returned home, only to find piss and shit everywhere.

" _What the fuck is this shit, literally?"_ Isabella asked angrily.

Isabella walked towards Linda and Candace. She unfortunately stepped in some shit on her way.

" _There's SHIT everywhere! Shit on the floors, shit on the wall, shit on my shoes—what the FUCK?!"_ Isabella screamed.

Isabella picked up a piece of shit and hurled it at Candace's face, screaming autistically. Candace let out a muffled scream as the shit hit her face, while Linda was watching in horror. Just as Isabella was about to do the same to Linda, Phineas stopped her.

" _WAIT WAIT! Dont cover them in shit! I want your first lesbian rape to be clean and special!"_

" _Oh! Okay!"_ Isabella said, pulling out a fire hose.

" _LET'S DO THIS! ROCK THAT SHIT! ROCK THEIR WORLD!"_ Phineas yelled.

Isabella proceeded to violently spray Linda and Candace with a huge wall of water, blowing them back and sending them crashing through their chains into the wall behind them.

" _Well, at least they're clean now!"_ Isabella yelled.

" _Hmm. Maybe I set the pressure on too high?"_ Phineas asked.

Even though Candace and Linda were now free, they didn't make any attempt to run away. After all, they were pretty sure their legs were broken.

" _Alright, you bitches stay there while I go grab all my awesomely perverted sex toys!"_ Phineas said, walking upstairs.

Linda and Candace sat back naked in a pile of water and feces in shock at what just happened.

" _Hey, shouldn't we be dead right now?"_ Candace asked.

" _No, but he sprayed me right in my boob! It really fucking hurts…"_ Linda wheezed.

" _Cartoon logic states that you bitches survive!"_ Isabella yelled from upstairs.

Suddenly Candace got an idea. She looked around the room for her phone, and found her cell phone laying in a pile of shit. Surprisingly, it still worked. She could only think of one person that could save her.

" _Stacy! If anyone's smart enough to get us out of this it's that Asian slut!"_ Candace yelled.

" _Well, I'd normally berate you like a mother should for saying things like that, but you are very much correct! She really IS a slut!"_ Linda replied.

Candace called Stacy's phone hurriedly, desperately hoping she'd pick up.

Stacy picked up her phone and hummed nonchalantly into it.

" _Hello?"_ Stacy asked.

" _STACY, YOU GOTTA HELP US HOLY SHIT I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANY—"_

" _Woah there, don't get your panties in a knot! Haha, I'm just messing with ya! Everyone knows you don't wear panties, you fucking slut."_ Stacy replied.

" _Look Stacy, I really need your help! Phineas and Isabella have me trapped in my kitchen naked!"_ Candace said worriedly.

" _Sounds hot!"_ Stacy yelled.

" _No! No, it's not hot! He's been raping me and my mom every day now!"_ Candace yelled.

" _Say that again, but slower…"_ Stacy said rather lewdly.

" _Oh, for—you FUCKING chink WHORE!"_ Candace screamed.

" _Yes dear, she is a chink whore!"_ Linda interrupted.

" _OH YES MOMMY, INSULT ME MORE!"_ Stacy yelled.

Suddenly Phineas came down the stairs.

" _Sorry I was gone so long, Isabella is a horny bitch so I had to give her the D in the bathroom."_

Phineas saw her holding the phone, and got mad. He grabbed the phone out of Candace's hand.

" _Hey, who's on the phone? Is it the brown kid or the obviously lesbian Asian chick?"_ Phineas asked.

" _Ohh, hi Phineas! It's me, Stacy! Listen, I know about your whole rape thing, and I was just wondering..."_

" _If you're asking to borrow any math books, don't bother. Baljeet already filled out every question on every book."_ Phineas replied.

Stacy was a little sad hearing that, but she decided to focus on her original question. After all, she could just buy more math books.

" _Not that! I was wondering if I could rape Candace._ "

Candace's eyes lit up in anger.

" _YOU STUPID FUCKING BITCH! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!?_ "

" _Easily, dear! Lesbian Asians do make terrible friends, after all!"_ Linda replied.

" _Shut the fuck up, I'm on the fucking phone! Anyway, As long as you promise to tell no one, you can come over._ "

Stacy instantly hung up, and started to gather everything she needed.

" _I WILL FUCK CANDACE…WITH THE POWER OF MATHEMATICS!"_ Stacy yelled heroically as she held her pocket protector-slash-[JUSTICE DILDO].

" _And now…REQUIEM!"_ Stacy screamed, running outside like a crackhead maniac.

The old man was still on his front porch as Stacy ran by, staring with neutrality and slight horror.

" _THIS ONE IS FOR HIROSHIMA!"_ Stacy screamed, laughing as she ran.

" _Twice wasn't enough, I see."_ The old man said to himself.

" _I told Truman we should've bombed those commie fucks back to the Great Wall!"_ Another old man yelled.

" _Nobody believes your war stories, Harold!"_ A random old woman yelled.

Stacy finally got to Phineas's house, ringing the doorbell eagerly. Phineas opened the door, and looked at all the stuff Stacy was holding.

" _Holy shit, you are one weird chick!_ "

" _Yes yes, NOW WHERE CANDACE!_ "

Phineas let Stacy in, and she instantly started running around the house. Before Phineas could give her directions, she managed to find Candace on her own.

" _AHHHHHHHHH!"_

Phineas could recognize Candace's scream from anywhere. He made his way back to the kitchen to see what Stacy was doing.

" _I—HOLY SHIT!"_ Phineas yelled.

Stacy was using her homemade chainsaw dildo on Candace, going up her crack and into her tight ass.

Stacy revved up the chainsaw dildo and set it on max power, tearing Candace's ass apart. Linda was watching in horror, while Isabella was watching in awe. Phineas never knew Stacy was such a freak, and he was beginning to love her.

You know what, while this is happening, lets see what Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus are up to.

" _Oh yes Perry the Platypus! Your butt cheeks feel so good on my cock!"_

On second thought, let's get back to the actual story.

" _OH GOD, IT HURTS! IT HURTS SO MUCH!"_ Candace screamed.

" _LET MOMMY LEZZO MAKE YOU HURT GOOD! HURT GOOOOOOOD!"_ Stacy yelled maniacally.

" _CHAIN! CHAIN! CHAIN! CHAIN! CHAIN! CHAIN! CHAIN!"_ Isabella and Phineas chanted.

" _I AM CHAINING THE PUSSYYYYYY!"_ Stacy screamed, as Candace yelled in agonized anal pain.

Suddenly the chainsaw dildo let off a bit of smoke and stopped.

" _Aw man, it's jammed! Oh well, I have PLENTY of other things to use on your holes!"_ Stacy stated.

" _Help me…"_ Candace said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Linda wanted to help her daughter, but could do nothing. Phineas and Isabella realised that they would not be getting Candace back. So they decided to just focus on Linda.

" _Well we already had sex with your mother. I guess it only makes sense to have a three way with mine._ " Phineas explained.

" _Yes…yes, I suppose it does… I won't be gentle."_ Isabella replied.

" _Wait, what are yo—OH GOD NO! STOP! STOOOOOP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND JESUS ALMIGHTY SOMEONE HELP ME!"_ Candace yelled in the background.

" _Alright then, let's get to work!"_ Phineas stated, pulling his pants down.

Isabella lifted up her dress and shoved her pussy in Linda's face.

" _I always knew Isabella was a bad influence on you, dear!"_ Linda said to Phineas.

" _Lick it! LICK THE PUSSY!"_ Isabella shouted.

Isabella shoved her pussy onto Linda's lips and forced her mouth open, facefucking her as best as she could. Linda began to cry, but not from being raped, rather from the fact that Phineas was friends with a bisexual.

Phineas pulled his now hard dick out, and started to jerk off.

" _OH GOD! WHY DOESN'T THIS FEEL EVEN REMOTELY GOOD?!"_ Candace screamed again in the background.

" _Eat it you bitch! EAT IT, EAT IT!"_ Isabella yelled, grinding against Linda's face and biting her lip.

After a couple minutes, Phineas came all over his mom's back while Isabella came in her mouth. Linda fell to the ground in disgust, gagging on the juices.

" _Wow Phineas! Having sex with a girl that isn't roofied is much better!_ " Isabella stated, wiping sweat off her face.

" _Yeah, making sure the bitch is awake is way more fun!"_ Phineas replied.

Stacy walked back up to the two, very sweaty.

" _And speaking of awake, Candace isn't anymore. Hey, do you guys mind if I take her upstairs? I still have things I want to do to her!"_ Stacy asked.

Phineas and Isabella both smiled.

" _We don't mind at all, friend."_ Phineas replied.

" _Cool, thanks!"_ Stacy said, with a very evil look on her face.

" _So, what should we do with your mom now? Do you want to-"_

 _*Thump* *Thump* *Thump*_ " _Dammit! How the hell am I_ _supposed to carry her sweaty body!? You know what? Fuck it! I'll just drag her up stairs!_ "

Dragging and thumping noises could be heard, followed by a door slamming shut.

"Anyway, I think we sho-"

Suddenly, the sounds of a drill could be heard.

" _AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

" _Well, whatever Stacy did, it woke Candace up."_ Isabella stated.

" _Yeah…let's just get back to what I was going to say. I think we should switch places, you take the pussy and I'll take the mouth!"_ Phineas replied.

Isabella nodded, and they did exactly that. Isabella made sure to put her obliterator strap-on on.

" _YEET!"_ Isabella yelled, as she stuck her strap-on into Linda's pussy.

Linda screamed in pain as Isabella thrusted harshly, surprised and ashamed at what was happening. Phineas then stuck his cock in her mouth, and began to facefuck her.

" _Oh fuck! This feels so go-_ "

" _OH GOD! I CAN FEEL IT INSIDE MY LARGE INTESTINE!"_ Candace screamed in the background once more.

" _Well, that's a bit of a mood killer."_ Isabella stated.

" _NOT FOR ME! IN FACT, I'M GOING TO GO GRAB MY PENIS ENLARGING DEVICE"_ Phineas yelled.

Phineas ran off to go get his penis enlargement device, and ran back down as fast as he could. He managed to grow his penis nearly twice its size.

"Alright bitch! Get ready for the big P!"

Before Linda could even finish comprehending the giant cock, Phineas rammed it down her slut throat. Linda let out a muffled scream of both pain and shock, still ashamed yet slightly turned on.

" _Oh well, at least it's big. And I was probably going to have sex with him at some point anyway."_ Linda thought to herself.

Of course, she didn't seem to realize that his massive cock was cutting off her breathing, and she passed out.

" _Aw man, not AGAIN!"_ Phineas yelled.

This pissed Isabella off.

" _If I wanted to fuck a knocked out body, I would have just roofied my mom again! WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW!?_ "

They tried to think of something to do, but Candace's screams were making it hard to focus. But then, it hit them.

" _Wait! What if we just joined Stacy?"_ Isabela suggested, not being able to hold back her bisexual rage.

" _Sounds good to me!"_ Phineas replied.

And so they went upstairs to assist Stacy in completely breaking Candace.

" _Yo, Stacy! Our bitch passed out, we're gonna fuck Candace now!"_

" _Oh sure! I was having trouble filling all of her holes at the same time anyway. You guys will make this MUCH easier!"_

The two looked at Candace. She looked like she had been through a war… The Vietnam War.

" _Please…I can't take anymore…it's too much…"_ Candace begged.

" _TOO BAD, WHORE!"_ Stacy screamed, smacking Candace harshly on her right ass cheek.

" _That smarts…"_ Candace said wearily.

" _So, who gets what hole?"_ Stacy asked.

" _DIBS ON THE MOUTH!"_ Phineas yelled.

" _I want the puss puss!"_ Isabella added.

" _Good, good, I'll keep wrecking her ass!"_ Stacy replied.

Candace whimpered with fear and pain from earlier, bracing herself for the anal assault that was to come. She always wanted to be the one that raped Stacy, but it looks like Stacy was the winner in the end.

" _Now before you suck on my monster cock…TOUCH THE PENIS!_ "

Candace was so exhausted that she literally couldn't even move. We cannot even describe the things that Stacy had done to Candace…it was just to brutal for words.

" _What the fuck did you do to her, Stacy? She looks like she's ready to drop dead!"_ Isabella asked.

" _Well… I have been dreaming of things that I have wanted to do, and most of that stuff goes against the Geneva Convention…"_

Isabella looked at Phineas with morbid curiosity, and Phineas shrugged.

" _Honestly, as long as Candace doesn't die, then Stacy can do whatever she wants."_ Phineas stated.

" _I fucking hate you so fucking much!"_ Candace screamed, like a bitch.

" _Oh don't worry, Candace, I've always hated you too!"_ Phineas replied.

" _LET'S FUCKING ROCK, COCK AND ROLL ALREADY!"_ Stacy screamed, shoving her strap-on in Candace's ass.

" _AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"_ Candace screamed.

Phineas shoved his now-gigantic cock into Candace's mouth, moaning as he fucked her face. Isabella went straight for the poontang, shoving her strap-on in her as hard as she could.

Candace let out a scream, but it was muffled by Phineas's monster cock.

" _Oh fuck yeah! This bitch is so much better than Jeremy was!"_ Stacy yelled.

" _YOU CHINESE JAPANESE KOREAN WHATEVER ELSE SLUT!"_ Candace yelled, pulling her mouth away from Phineas's cock.

" _For your information, I am 0.087% Mexican! Oh, and like 5% black but I refuse to acknowledge 'that' part of my ancestry."_ Stacy replied.

" _You'll always be a mutt-slut in my book, you fucking asshole!"_ Candace yelled again.

" _Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't aware I was the one with my own brother's monster cock in my mouth! OH WAIT! THAT'S YOU!"_ Stacy yelled, thrusting harder.

" _AHH! I DON'T EVEN HAVE M- *gagging noises*"_

" _YOU DO NOW BITCH! NOW SUCK THE PENIS!_ "

Candace didn't really have any other choice. She unhappily sucked on the monster cock, while Isabella and Stacy pounded her other holes. While this was happening, she started to wonder where her life when so wrong. However, the answer was actually very simple. It was when she was born, of course!

Phineas moaned as he fucked Candace's throat again, filling her face up with incestuous dick. After a minute or two, Phineas came with a loud moan, filling up Candace's throat until she passed out. Stacy grabbed the unconscious Candace and threw her over her shoulder, getting ready to take her home.

" _You know people are gonna see you, right?"_ Phineas asked.

" _I DON'T FUCKING CARE!"_ Stacy yelled, running outside with Candace over her shoulder.

She randomly decided to start screaming like a maniac, alerting most of the neighborhood. The old man looked at her, and still gave no fucks.

" _Oh geez, that girl again? Oh well, I'm used to Asian women screaming like a maniac while running with unconscious naked bodies in this neighborhood. I'm so glad my children moved away. This place is a absolute madhouse."_

Phineas and Isabella stared at her, not really knowing how to react. They had seen some crazy shit, but Stacy was something else.

" _You know, she's even more of a crazed sex pervert than we are. I'm proud of her."_ Isabella stated happily.

Phineas and Isabella smiled, and went back inside. Phineas sat on the couch to relax, and turned the TV on. He pulled his cock out, ready for another round of super-duper fun-fun blowjob time.

" _Hey, Isabella?"_ Phineas asked.

" _Yeah?"_ Isabella replied.

" _Why don't you be a good girl and touch the penis?"_

THE INCESTOUS AND HONESTLY QUITE HORRIFYING END!


	6. Michael Bay Ending BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

Phineas was watching the news while Isabella was touching the penis, when suddenly a VERY interesting piece was airing.

" _Today we're following the story of a porn addict who recently died from autoerotic asphyxiation. It's a bad idea folks, do not try it under any circumstance. Seriously, don't do it."_

" _Well, Isabella, I know what I'm going to do today!"_ Phineas said with glee.

Phineas stood up, and walked into another room to do exactly that. Isabella decided to use this time to get some food, as she was very hungry from having hardcore lesbian sex for so long. When she walked into the kitchen, she saw that Linda had not gotten up yet. Isabella considered just leaving her, but then had an evil idea.

" _Hmm, I once heard that bathing in blood could make your skin look younger. Lets try it!"_

 _*Two hours of blood bathing later*_

" _Well shit! My skin hasn't changed at all! I killed Phineas's mom for nothing… Oh well! I wonder how Phineas is doing._ "

Isabella walked into Phineas' bedroom, her face turning to shock as she saw Phineas hanging from a rope with his pants down.

" _Oh god! Phineas! What do I do what do I do what do I do?!"_

Isabella got Phineas back down, laid him down on the bed and started sucking the penis, hoping to resuscitate him.

" _Oh…oh NO! The mouth-to-penis resuscitation didn't work!"_

Isabella couldn't bare to look at Phineas' dead body, so she ran outside to cry. Unfortunately, she ran in the middle of the road, where she was run over by a speeding car and killed.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz was at the wheel, and he wasn't really paying attention.

" _Hey, Perry the Platypus, did I hit something?"_

Perry saw what happened, but just motioned for him to keep driving. The two were on a trip to Las Vegas, and Perry was not looking back.

Meanwhile, Stacy was having a good old horribly fucked up and absolutely illegal time with Candace. What she didn't know was that Jeremy was on his way to save Candace.

" _Don't worry, Candace! I'll save you!"_

He was still wearing the cast, so he couldn't really move that fast. However, just as he was about to open the door, he was once again shot in the leg. He fell to the ground in pain, and started to bleed out. He looked up to see Dick Cheney with a smoking rifle.

" _Sorry, I thought you were a deer."_ Dick apologized.

" _It's…okay…my dude…"_ Jeremy said with his last, dying breath.

Dick Cheney realized that he could have taken Jeremy to the hospital, but he decided that it was a fitting end for him…

Speaking of hospitals, Baljeet was visiting his extremely homosexual friend Buford there. Buford had slipped into a coma after the failed suicide attempt, and Baljeet was there to finish the job.

" _Now then, my degenerately and extremely homosexual ex-friend, I shall vanquish you in the name of Buddha! I mean, uh, Allah! I do not know anymore, for you see, I am Hindu! Regardless, I WILL NOW VANQUISH YOU!"_ Baljeet yelled.

Baljeet proceeded to pull the plug on Buford's lifeline. With Buford dead, Baljeet lived happily know that there was one less gay.

" _Yes yes, the world is now free from the homosexual affairs of one gay child!"_ Baljeet stated.

" _Now, it is time for Baljeet to go to his house and ask random girls online for lewdish pictures of Bobs and Vagene! Now, let me just pull out my phone and- *Click*."_

Baljeet had accidentally pressed the activation button to his suicide vest. Before he could even say fuck, he blew himself up, along with half of the hospital.

Back at Stacy's house, Stacy had accidentally left Candace's face in a bowl of piss. Candace had drowned by that point, and so Stacy rushed her friend with illegal benefits to the hospital.

Unfortunately for her, the hospital was completely destroyed from Baljeet's suicide bombing shenanigans. With no way to save Candace, Stacy threw her body in a dumpster, and went home to read a math book.

" _Oh, Volume 7 of advanced algebra, please brighten up my day…_ "

Stacy pulled the book out, but accidentally caused the huge pile of books to tumble down. She was completely crushed, and died within a few seconds.

Ferb and his dad were just getting home from England. As the plane was flying over Danville, Lawrence smiled.

" _Well, I think now's a good time to check on what our family has been up to while we were gone. Those_ _cameras I set up are so well hidden, that I might not even be able to find them when we get back!"_

Ferb nodded in agreement, and so Lawrence started watching the videos. He saw all the sexual misadventures his wife, son and daughter were having over the time they were gone, nearly vomiting after seeing what Stacy had done to Candace.

" _I don't want to live anymore."_ Lawrence said to himself.

Ferb nodded in agreement once more. Lawrence got out of his chair and walked slowly up to the pilot's seats, ready to end it all.

" _Uhhh, we're experiencing a bit of turbulence in the pilot's wing, and GHRRRRGHAAAAAK!"_ The pilot yelled, as Lawrence stabbed him in the neck with his pocket knife.

" _FRED! NOOOOO! HE WAS TOO YOUNG TO GO! Nah, I'm just messing with ya. He was 69! HE FUCKING DIED AT 69!"_ The copilot yelled, before getting stabbed by Lawrence as well.

" _Ah, sweet death. I embrace you."_ Lawrence said to himself, taking control of the plane and driving it straight for the ground.

" _I should be sad, but I feel like this is a fitting end to it all."_ Ferb said to himself.

As the plane flew towards Danville, the old man looked up to see the plane. He knew this was how he was going to die, but he didn't care.

" _After everything I have seen in my life, I feel this is the perfect way to go out."_

The plane finally hit Danville, killing everyone in the area. Lawrence, Ferb, and the old man were killed on impact. Investigators suspected that Lawrence must have been a terrorist.

Perry looked back from the car to see a huge explosion. He smiled, knowing he was finally free.

" _Perry the Platypus, did you hear something?"_ Doofenshmirtz asked.

Perry shook his head 'no', and so the two went off to Vegas to live the rest of their homosexual lives.


	7. The True And Totally Accurate Canon Endi

Perry and Doofenshmirtz were interrupted from their homosexual car driving actions, as they had heard the call from God. It was a call to arms, a call that pleaded for the world to be cleansed of the degeneracy that The Tri-State Area now suffered under.

Doof was driving, but he immediately turned around, as the need to purge was too great. Perry turned on the radio, and every driver within a mile of the two could hear the war chant of the Danville Crusaders. Doof began to metal-scream the call to war, his heart pounding with the heat of the human spirit.

"IN THE HEART OF THE HOLY SEEEAAAA

IN THE HOME OF CHRISTIANITYYYYYY

THE SEAT OF POWER IS IN DAAAAAAANGEEERRRRR

THERE'S A FOE OF A THOUSAND SWOOOOORDS

THEY'VE BEEN ABANDONED BY THEIR LORDS

THEIR FALL TO GRACE WILL PAVE THEIR PATH

TO DAMNAAAAAAATIOOOOOON"

Perry and Doof decided to ignore all kinds of safety regulations, as the Crusaders' judgment was nigh. They Initial D'd the fuck out of the streets, running red lights and running over several stop signs. God was with them, he would understand.

Perry and Doof rammed their way into Phineas' house harder than Stacy was ramming Candace, interrupting Phineas' Alabama-style incest session.

"Hey! I didn't invite you guys! And look, you didn't even bring the Confederate flags!" Phineas yelled as he took pictures of his moms' bobs and vagenes for Baljeet.

Doof pulled out a plasma machine gun and put on his $500 sunglasses.

"What you have done here is slightly worse than what I did to Perry last night! Prepare to be crusaded, spawn of Southern Satan! ...how was that, Perry? I'm not too good with one-liners after all."

Perry gave a shrug and a fake thumbs up of non-approval. Doof gave a dumbass smile and pointed his gun back at Phineas. Though, Phineas was to focused on Perry to really care.

"Perry?! I knew you'd stab me in the back, you little shit! I'll fuck you too in that case!" Phineas yelled.

Screaming like your mom last night, Phineas charged at Doof and Perry buck naked, his dong fully erect.

"Oh no, Perry the Platapus! What do we do, I've never seen a cock that fully erect before!" Doof yelled, terrified at the thought of his anus being destroyed by someone other than his dad… Not in that way you sick fucks!

Perry gave no fucks and pulled out his .44 magnum. He blew a hole in Phineas' leg, luckily not hitting his dick. Because that would be rude.

"Ow, oh shit! ISABELLA! GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN AND HELP ME! YOU CAN MAKE MY SANDWICH LATER!"

Isabella took a moment to stop touching herself with mayonnaise and ran out of the kitchen buck naked as well.

"MUFUGGAS INTERRUPTING MY LUNCHTIME FAP! PREPARE FOR WHITE SEXUAL JUSTICE!" Isabella yelled.

She lunged towards Phineas, and immediately put her hand on his dick. She jacked him off at supersonic speed, attempting to use his sperm as a weapon. Phineas came so hard from Isabella jacking him off that lines and holes were created in the walls.

"This looks like a job for my brand new invention! THE GIANT CONDOM-INATORS OF SEMENIC SHIELDING!" Doof yelled.

Two giant mechanical condoms covered Doof and Perry, just barely protecting them from Phineas' fatal semen blasts. Perry just then realized that he was having a literal semen-condom death battle. In the next few seconds, he questioned his lifestyle immensely and wondered what had led him up to this moment. Fortunately for our heroic Crusaders, Phineas was running low on the ol' baby-makin' love goo.

"OWW! Isabella stop! My balls are starting to hurt!" Phineas pleaded.

Isabella refused to stop jacking Phineas off and began to get very pissed.

"IT'S NOT WORKING! BLOW BIGGER LOADS, DAMN IT!" Isabella yelled as Phineas screamed in genital pain.

Phineas reached for the phone, knowing that this was an emergency. He called up Stacy and started begging like a crackhead on payday for her to come over and help.

"Alright fine, I'll stop studying math and Pacific Rimming Candace's sweet honky ass to help you...but JUST THIS ONCE!" Stacy yelled.

Stacy then got sushi-style triggered and grabbed her dual-wield dong sabers. She put on her tinfoil hat and leotard and started sprinting to Phineas' house while doing the ancient Chinese Samurai battle cry.

"RRHHAAAAGDKLSJANDHDMATHFJAJJDNSHSKJEHRKWK!"

Everyone on the street thought that the short bus had crashed. But one man in the neighborhood knew that scream by heart. One man knew the tribulations which that cry for war had brought to Danville.

"I'm sick of this shit." The old man on the porch said to himself.

He jumped up out of his lawn chair and grabbed his cane. He walked to the middle of the street and made his way towards Stacy. The other old people in the neighborhood watched from their windows, as they knew shit was about to go down.

As Stacy was running down the street like an autist on Tendie Day, she noticed a lone, silent figure approaching her. She looked at the gruff old man with a cross-eyed grimace.

"You don't scare me, old man! I am one with the trees! And the trees have GIANT WOODEN DICKS!" Stacy yelled.

The old man's eyes went wide and he stopped dead in his tracks for a second. He was reminded of his days in the Vietnam War, the gunfire, the copious amounts of Asian people...then he realized. Stacy was actually a member of the NVA.

The old man's spirit ignited like a raging, fire-breathing dragon. His patriotism would not allow him to let Stacy live to see the sunset. He held his cane tight and began sprinting at the teenage offender of the Geneva Convention.

"REEEEEEEEEEEE!" Stacy yelled as she would fight for her fucked-up legacy.

The old man and Stacy clashed at last, dong-saber and cane striking each other as the neighborhood watched in awe. The two were like Shinobi of fuckery. Even Phineas's cries of sexual agony couldn't faze them.

The two dueled as if Jedi on weed, the old man getting the first hit in by whacking Stacy in her face. To the old man's shock though, Stacy started to touch herself with one of the dildos.

"OH YESSSSS! THE PAIN FEELS SO GOOOOOOD!"

The old man took A few steps back while staring at her in horror. Not since Vietnam had he seen such sexual and actual degeneracy.

"By Ronald Reagan, you are one messed up woman."

"OH YESSS! INSULT ME MORE OLD MAN!"

Stacy's face turned period blood red from getting sexually hyper again.

"HIT ME MORE DADDY!" Stacy yelled.

The old man was looking to fight, not watch more degeneracy. Fortunately, he knew one thing that would rile Stacy up.

"New Math is not math. MATH IS MATH."

Stacy… Didn't like what she heard.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT THE NEW MATH?!" Stacy screamed, lunging at the old man with the fury of a tiger.

The old man pulled out his cane and blocked Stacy's air attack, pushing her back. Stacy landed on her feet and drew her dong-swords at the old man, clashing with his cane once more. The old man blocked a flurry of attacks and dodged to Stacy's side, hitting her in the vagina with his cane.

Stacy ignored the cane pain (gonna write me a Dr. Motherfucking Seuss book later! -Minor) and knocked the old man down, breaking his hip. He had underestimated Stacy's Asian wrath, and the injury had left the old man helpless.

"Dammit...my only regret is that I couldn't fight for more than ten seconds."

The old man realized that his time was up. He was no longer in his prime, and he had given the fight his all. Unfortunately, he was no match for a young blooded degenerate.

"What say you, insulter of math?! PLEAD FOR YOUR LIFE!" Stacy yelled.

The old man was about to say something but was interrupted by an old friend.

"Hey there buddy, why are ya' lettin' a deer beat up on ya' like that?" Dick Cheney asked.

The old man's time wasn't up after all. He was saved!

"DEER?! I'm not a deer, you bald piece of-"

"I SAID, why are ya' lettin' a DEER beat up on ya' like that!?" Dick Cheney screamed.

Dick Cheney then shot Stacy through the chest. Stacy was dead, and her corpse was promptly "accidentally" run over by a passing driver. Dick looked down at the body, then looked back at the old man.

"Sorry, I thought she was a deer."

Everyone in the neighborhood started cheering at the death of the legendary Short Bus Offender. The Asian menace had been eradicated at last. Oh shit wait, not like that! (Please note we love Asians. This can be proven by how much Asian porn we watch. -JustSagan)

Dick helped the old man up and used his Merican powers to heal his broken hip. As happy as he was to be saved, he couldn't help but wonder why Dick Cheney was there. Before the old man could ask though, Dick handed him a rifle.

"I don't know what that was all about, but we have a plane to catch." Dick Cheney explained.

The old man looked at him in confusion.

"Don't you remember? We planned to go on a safari." Dick Cheney said in a Mericanly gay tone.

"Hell ya, SAFARI! Imma yeet the fuck out of those Communist lions with my high powered silenced AK-47!"

Dick Cheney pulled out his fully automatic rocket dildo launcher.

"Autothots, roll out!"

The two would have many epic misadventures in the wonderland that is Afroca. Little to their knowledge though, Danville wasn't safe yet. There was still one crazy thottish she-devil with a feminine ding dong catcher left to deal with. And that bitch had the Mexican white trash thot name known as...Isabella.

Phineas sensed that Stacy had fallen. His last ally was dead. He then died of hopelessness and excessive ejaculation.

Isabella noticed after a few sexually explicit minutes that Phineas was no longer shooting semen. She looked to see that Phineas was dead and she was just jacking off a lifeless corpse. Normally jacking off a corpse would turn her on, but not when that corpse was her penis buddy.

"DADDY PHINEAS! NOOOO! WE WERE GOING TO HAVE BEAUTIFUL BABIES TOGETHER!"

Phineas was subconsciously glad he was dead. He never wanted to have children, especially not with a thot like Isabella.

Doof and Perry took off their condom-inators. Surprisingly, Doof didn't seem to care about the massive amount of sperm everywhere. It was enough to fill up a bathtub… 50 times.

"Well, Perry the Platypus, I once heard this thottish woman say the N-word! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! We must cleanse the world of racism, together!" Doof yelled, the two posing like JoJo weebs.

Isabella then got very pissed off and lunged at Doof WWE style. Perry finally snapped himself back to reality, just to see sperm everywhere and a crazy bitch charging at them. He looked at Doof with a blank stare.

"Fear not, Perry the Platypus, for I have a plan! Behold…the MAGNA-DONGINATOR!" Doof yelled, causing a gun barrel tearing through his pants.

The gun came from his dick n' ballz to form a tripod and machine gun. Perry couldn't help but stare in awe at the beautiful weapon.

"Now then, be one with the afterlife as I blast you away!"

"Oh shit." Isabella thought to herself in her final moments.

Doof moaned in sexual pleasure and posed once more, as the feeling of bullets coming out of his cybernetic urethra was amazing.

"DOOFEN SCIENCE IS IMPECCABLE!"

The bullets tore through Isabella. She had died after the first few shots, but Doof refused to let up. He only stopped when his balls started to hurt.

Isabella was gone for good, as her lifeless body laid in a giant pool of blood and semen. She would now be in hell for eternity, to be the love momma for Phineas.

"Well now that you're in Hell Isabella, I guess we should get started on our eternity of sex!"

Isabella didn't waste any time and started to such on Phineas' zombie dick. However, they were greeted by a not so pleasant intruder. Stacy had arrived and was packing a new, gigantic demon dick n' balls.

"TOUCH THE PENIS." Stacy yelled crazily.

Isabella and Phineas were now completely fucked and they both knew it.

Elsewhere…

Daddy Bill Clinton had received a letter at his desk. He had no idea how it got there, and frankly, we don't know either.

"The hell is this? Where's my 3 o'clock appointment with that definitely legal loli?"

He bit the metaphorical bullet and read the letter.

"Dear Daddy Bill, your daughter has died from a semen and machine gun-related incident near the Danville suburbs. With kindest regards, Anon."

Daddy Bill then got very upset. He wanted his daughter to supply him with grandchildren. Now he would never be able to take over Mexico.

"I AIN'T STANDING FOR THIS!"

Daddy Bill pressed the nuke button to enact his revenge. It was a good thing his bitch of A wife had hidden a bunch of nukes under Bill's Dirty Dungeon.

With remarkable timing, Ferb and Lawrence's flight had just came in and was flying over Danville. Lawrence pulled out his laptop.

"Well Ferb, let's see what Phineas, Candace, and your mother were doing while we were gone!" Lawrence said.

He pulled out the video, and the two watched as Phineas and Isabella brutally raped Linda and Candace. Lawrence didn't really care until he saw Stacy get involved.

"Oh…dear God…" Lawrence said as he witnessed Stacy doing unspeakable things to Candace.

Lawrence began to sob loudly as he watched his daughter was being violated on camera. Ferb was beginning to get turned on and stuck his hand down his pants. Before he could get down to business however, he heard a whistling noise.

Ferb looked out his window and saw a nuclear warhead coming. Lawrence saw it as well and thanked Jesus for his impending death.

"Oh damn." Ferb said as the warhead hit the plane, causing a huge fiery explosion in the sky.

Down below, Baljeet watched the explosion from Buford's hospital room. He had planned to kill Buford for his gay ways, but this changed everything.

"I see now… This is a sign from Allah that I must not kill Buford! Instead, I shall convert him from his homosexual ways!"

Baljeet took Buford's pants off.

"I shall revitalize his heterosexuality with a non-gay blowjob!"

Baljeet then did exactly that.

Doof and Perry looked in the sky at the combusted jet. Never before had they seen a plane get literally nuked.

"Hey, uh, Perry the Platypus? This town kind of, uh…isn't safe anymore. Do you think we should move out and start a new life together?" Doof asked.

Perry nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile, Jeremy was determined to save Candace and had finally made it to Stacy's house.

"Don't worry babe, I'll save you!" Jeremy yelled as he kicked down the door.

"I'm here to—HOLY FUCK!" Jeremy yelled upon seeing Candace's sexually violated body. She was still alive, which freaked him out even more.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Jeremy screamed, running down the street.

"Oh, another short bus must have crashed." One of the locals said.

Doof and Perry heard Jeremy and decided to just drive away without investigating. At that very moment, Linda had finally regained consciousness. Not only was she in terrible pain, but she was also completely surrounded by blood and sperm.

As she finally managed to stand up, Jeremy ran inside. In his panicked state, he ran up to Linda.

"AAHHHHHHHH—Holy shit, I never knew a mom could have such nice tits!" Jeremy yelled, groping Linda's breasts.

"Fine, go ahead and grab 'em. Might as well see what Candace always brags to me about."

Linda was impressed by Jeremy's breast grabbing techniques and was suddenly perked up by Jeremy sucking the tiddy.

"Well, I'd better go see what Candace is doing. Stay here Jeremy, I'll be back." Linda said as she walked out of her house.

She didn't really give A shit that she was completely naked while walking down the street. Linda entered Stacy's house, her eyes growing to the size of dinner plates upon seeing Candace's, uh…situation.

She found a video camera filled with Stacy's smexy fun fun lesbian love goo time with Candace. Linda then used Stacy's computer to upload the video's to Liveleak just for the fuck of it.

She went back to her house and broke the news to Jeremy.

"Well, looks you're going to need a new girlfriend for awhile…why don't you take your pants off so I can show you why moms make the best girlfriends."

Jeremy was about to take his pants off but stopped when he finally noticed that there were two dead children laying on the ground.

"Uhh, what happened to Phi-"

Jeremy was interrupted by Linda's kiss. He was no longer concerned, and now just wanted some MILF pussy.

The ever lovin' literal mother fuckin' end!


End file.
